Necesito Dormir

That's probably not right in Spanish and I should know that after over three years. Anyway, I feel tired more lately. Yesterday, knowing that I wouldn't have to school today since it is Saturday, I went to sleep at 6. My parents woke me up at 6:30, though, for no real reason. I was asleep again by 7 but was woken up yet again at 7:30 for dinner. I didn't like it and so my mom bade me "oh well" as if she were punishing me for not liking the food because I couldn't have anything else, even though it was my choice to skip dinner. I went to sleep again at 8 and woke up at 11, my need for sleep finally satiated. I discovered we had nothing in the house to eat, not even any cereal. I found some raspberry Jell-O in the back of the fridge and ate two containers of that from a six pack since there were only two others left in there and they were both orange, which isn't as tasty as red-colored foods. I went to sleep at 1:30 and didn't wake up once during the night, something I normally do once every two or three hours on nights when i take just an hour long nap, let alone four hours worth, meaning I guess I still didn't get enough sleep.

Yesterday everything seemed so great, but not anymore. I had to fake being sick to stay home from doing stupid stuff, and the football games weren't that exciting. We went to my aunt's tonight and I was coerced into swimming with my cousins. I tried to organize a game of water polo, which was soon after undermined twice by some of their whininess. You know, because you have to actually swim and it can take effort. My hair is uncontrolable and kept getting in my eyes no matter what I did.

I drove my family back home. I can get my license within a month, but "can" and "will" are two completely different words. I talked to my mom about this, and I don't think she sees me driving until I'm in my junior year in college. It's not because I'm a threat to everyone on the streets. I don't like talking about it, but my family can't just buy me a car. My dad sold his truck in July, so, while most of the people I know have families adding another car, mine actually took one away. My mom talks about how insurance rates will multiply astronomically when I get my license, and that just can't happen right now. I can get my car one day when I can pay for it and insurance. However, I have to get a job first. But, to get a job first, I have to finish getting volunteer hours out of the way. Based on how she has decided, I will be able to get a job to get a car after my seventeenth birthday, after having wasted two hours every Saturday working at the stupid library. =D Somehow, that is all my fault.

I tell her it is imperative to get my license by December since I took the driving test in Driver's Ed class back in December and it only counts for one year after I take it. Otherwise, I will have to take again at everyone's favorite place with the most cheery employees, the DMV! While my dad agrees that makes sense, as the whole purpose of that class was to prepare me for the day I could drive on my own, my mom doesn't look like she will concede to that argument. It is weak, and I see what she means, but it is so, I don't even know the word, to see everyone else get something handed to them when you are not even given the oppurtunity to work for it yourself. I don't care if that sounds spoiled. Next to many people at Chiles, I'm undercared.

I'm sorry that turned into a rant about driving. Luckily, no one really reads this anyone, except me when I will looking back through happy memories a year from now. This isn't really happy, as my mood has changed entirely over the last day... Which was completely different from the day before that, actually. I feel so alone and isolated for reasons I haven't told anyone. My mood seems to be the exact opposite of many people I know. Right now, I have gathered with lots of proof the collective sentiment is one of happiness right now. Once again it happens.

I'm sorry, but I hope you have a miserable day tomorrow because I would like at least one happy day this weekend.

I hate being so weak.