I Used to Be The Kind of Guy Who Laughs at a Funeral

Death was an inevitable part of life, so it didn't matter when it came. Having accepted my Savior into my heart, I thought I would be okay with dying... until yesterday. Every person I've known that had passed away was sort of like a statistic; they were old (at least to me) and had lived long, accomplished lives. Even at that, they were even less unexpected because cancer would show up or something like that that would start a clock that could prepare you for reality.

I didn't really know Morgan. I went to the same school as her since 1997 (that is over 2,000 school days if you care to count) and yet the only classes I know we had in common were in fourth and fifth grade, and that's only because I have yearbooks to check that. I don't have any specific memories of her from school, either; I just remember that she smiled an awful lot and was always so cheerful.

She was also very enthusiastic in church. I always saw her there, and that's where I can recall my only two specific memories. When I started going to youth nights on Wednesdays back in 2007, I didn't know most people's names and was certainly not friends with anyone except one or two I knew beforehand. I remember one of those nights Morgan walked up to me and said, "Hi Ryan Pace. I bet you don't remember my name." Not only did she remember my name even though I don't think we had ever had a conversation before, but she also implied I wouldn't remember hers! Anytime I saw her from that point on, I addressed her by her full name (that's something I do for everyone who ever calls me "Ryan Pace").

My only other specific memory happened just last Sunday. It is short and wasn't memorable; I passed her leaving church. I took a sort of jagged route in the other direction to avoid the-what-I-always-find-weird "hi *insert name here*" exchange that is inevitable when two people pass each other on an empty sidewalk and one of them is extremely friendly. There were people behind me, so I don't know who that "hi" was to, but I hope it wasn't me. It wasn't personal or anything, so I don't know if I should feel guilty or not.

At least we all know that Morgan is in a better place now, just no one expected her departure to be so soon.